OMG a meme!

Someone suggested I post this.
I'm really curious how people will answer.

All comments are screened, so answer truthfully and no one will see them!

What if?~
● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:

~Would you~
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?:
● Keep a secret if i told you one?:
● Hold my hand?:
● Study with me?:
● Cook for me?:
● Love me?:
● Date me?:
● Have sex with me?:

~More ~

● When and how did we meet?:
● Describe me in three words:
● What was your first impression of me?:
● What do you think of me now?:
● What reminds you of me?:
● Could you see us together forever?:
● When's the last time you saw me?:
● Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?:

Shadow running

I'm really enjoying our fortnightly shadowrun game. It's more than just the game itself, which is really good. But it's more that it makes for a good chance to relax with some fun conversations with friends.

I think I've been needing this as a way to destress. I find that my mind really hasn't been sitting in a good place recently. I think the lonelyness is getting to me. I'm not lonely in the sense that there is no one around, as my life is very full of a lot of people. Especially of late with all the furry events going on.

It's more of a romantic lonelyness. I miss the personal interactions and affection.

I've been really 'huggy' as of late. Getting a lot of hugs from a lot of friends. I worry that I am overloading some people, and that I am getting a reputation for hitting on a lot of guys.

I really need to find out how to connect with people more. People like me, I know they do. People 'like' me. I'm a happy bouncy guy and try to show people that. But I need something more than a friend.

Back to my shadowrun game I think. There is sneaky stealthy stuff going on.

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Well today Rivfur begins. For those that don't know, Rivfur is nrisbanes big once a year furmeet which attract furs both from near and afar.

I got up late this morning and went to the local mall and got myself a haircut. I've gotten used to having really short hair now. I used to always have fairly longish hair. Now that I'm getting balder at the front of my head, I figure, why fight it?

I also bought some bacon, eggs and mushroom in case we have guests over the weekend. I want to at least be able to provide them with a decent breakfast.

We had our first guest turn up last night. Sydney coyote-dog girl seems nice, has a nice sense of humour. I can see why my little cat housemate liked her. But I haven't gotten much chance to talk to Sydney coyote-dog girl yet. She was obviously tired from the crazy car trip, which is more than fair enough.

I'm really looking forward to seeing a few people in particular. Shoulder Dragon and Performing Roo are two on the list. As well as a lovely feline from my hometown and her partner. I have missed my friends from far away dearly.

Well *takes a deep breath* let's do this!

*charges into Rivfur*

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Cold weather and birthdays

It's been cold here in the mornings. Like unusually cold for Brisbane. This morning took a lot of effort to come into work, not because I didn't want to go, but because I didn't want to have to leave my bed to take the steps nessisary to get to the shower.

I was thinking today that maybe it really isn't that cold, and that I am just thinking it is because I have aclimatised to Brisbane weather.

In other news, it seems that there are way too many people celerating birthdays this month. With Rivfur just around the corner as well, there seems to be parties every weekend for a while.

I like parties

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Gun range

Been having a day of firsts. Went out with some workmates today to a firing range, and fired my first gun. Had a pretty awesome time too . The 44 magnum is really heavy and has a lot of kickback on it. I think that i've done pretty well.

Now we are at a chocolate bar and I'm going to have a chocolate and banana pizza! Mmmmmm

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New iPhone

Well it's been a long time coming but I have myself a new iPhone, and with it, the ability to actually be able to update things while I am out and about.

I'm hoping that by blogging, I'll be able to get a lot of my thoughts and feelings out in the open. To actaully address how I am feeling about certain things, and what they mean to me.

There may be times where I'll upset people, and I apologise to those people in advance. You may comment whatever you like, and sometimes I might even respond.

This journal is for me.
This journal is for everyone.

These are the ramblings of a polar bear.

I had a pretty cool day today, I had some of my furry friends around, we played some boardgames, and went out to see the new Transformers movie.

My newest housemate got a good dose of furry crazieness. And as it turns out, he already has a crush on a certain little tiger. Newest housemate was often asking me questions about little tiger. I don't really know little tiger very well myself and I have a slight crush on him too. Afterall he is really cute.

Ah, I've had a few crushes these days. I think my lonelyness is really starting to manifest itself strongly recently. I've got a recent crush on a new fur in town too, a Scottish husky.

I like making new friends. I'm hoping to make some non fur gay bear friends soon. I feel disconnected and need to find that again.

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These early mornings are going to kill me.

A friend of mine usually takes me in to work, however his car has been out of commission this week. Certainly not any-ones fault, and certainly nothing I am bitching to him about.

However the bus I would take to work leaves at 5:25am!

Normally I start work at 7am here at GEmoney. But I have to get here over an hour early just to be on time!

My friend's car is due to be fixed by this afternoon. If there are no more problems, then today will be the last day I have to get up at 4:40am, just to get to work on time.

In other news, I've been spending a lot of evenings with a close friend of mine online. Talking over Skype each night. He's a very sweet guy who has been going through a lot of hard times.

Sometimes I have to ground myself, as I am falling for the guy quickly. And because he is overseas in Canada. That's a tricky thing to have to deal with.

I'm lonely enough as it is...
  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely

Some Days...

Some days you meet people you know have the potential to change your life!
I love those days.

And I love those people!

I really need to find out when I can travel overseas. I should be able to save the money, more so with help. I think the biggest problem would be begging work to let me do it. With all the time I've had off for the surgery crap over the past 4 months, its really gonna be a stretch!

There are a few people I really want to go and meet overseas. Years ago, this would have been nothing but a fantasy. Its great to know I can actually do something about this.

Dream are nice, but better when they are achievable .

There are a number of guys overseas that I'm starting to make really good friends with. I wont list them right now, cause with my memory, I'd be bound to miss someone out! But they are all very dear and important to me.

There are also a select few out there who are more special to me, people who I think we could possibly be more than friends. I worry that I latch on to guys like that, because I am so lonely these days.

Potential partners? Yes they are there. There is two in particular that have attracted my attention. One in the USA, and the other more recently from Canada.

I'm not going to name names, they know who they are. But I wanted to be up front, in particular I know one of them might be a little upset that there is perhaps another more recent guy turning this polar bear's head.

I don't know what the future holds.
  • Current Mood
    horny horny


My emotions are running very high at the moment.
I've begun Lite & Easy. And so far I've been pleased with the quality of the food.
However my bad eating habbits are more than I realised.
Now that I am on the diet plan, its very hard to see others eat what they want around me. Extremly hard even, and it's only been a few days.

The other thing is the timing.

On my old shift at work, 1pm-9pm. I often came home to just making my own meal. There are various reasons for this. Mostly beacasue most people ahve already eaten and ready for bed by the time I get home.

The other thing is, I love Broc's cooking. and more than that I know how much he loved cooking for me. And my old hours at work didn't leave much room for him to cook anything that I might enjoy.

Now my hours have changed, I'm working from 8am-4pm. and for the first time since I have started work I can actually be home at the right time.
Now that Broc is cooking again, it's hard because I cant eat it. I have to remain strong and resist.

The other thing that really hurts. Is going out to dinner.

One of the thing I really wanted to do with Broc on a regualr basis ever since I moved here, was to be able to go out to dinner on a regualr basis, enjoy rich new foods and have a night out with the man I love.

My hours wouldnt let me however.

More than that, as time went on, Broc found a friend whom he could go out to dinner with, and I felt the pangs of jelousy more than once when I would get home on a friday night, and Broc would still be out, having gone to dinner with his friend.
Experiences I longed so much to share, and was held back from.

Now I am on the diet. And just when I finally can say "Hey Broc, let me take you out to dinner somewhere" I cant...
Most likely only on rare occasions. and even then I'll have to carefully watch waht I eat.
Suddenly I feel like I have missed out on my chance entirly to do what I had always wanted to do.

And I guess Broc will still end up going out to dinner with his friend. Seeing he cant do so with me again.

I know the diet is good for me. I know in the long run it can help so much.

and yet I feel like I'm suddenly cutting myself off from not only things that I have longed to do with Broc. But from Broc himself.

I'm so torn on what to do, or how to handle this.

Broc of course is being amazingly suportive. and I love him dearly for that. But I dont know weather this diet is going to make me or break me.

Is more than just the food I love. The food is nothing compared to the experiences I feel I am going to loose.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed