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Iceleron [userpic]


August 17th, 2007 (07:01 pm)

current mood: depressed

My emotions are running very high at the moment.
I've begun Lite & Easy. And so far I've been pleased with the quality of the food.
However my bad eating habbits are more than I realised.
Now that I am on the diet plan, its very hard to see others eat what they want around me. Extremly hard even, and it's only been a few days.

The other thing is the timing.

On my old shift at work, 1pm-9pm. I often came home to just making my own meal. There are various reasons for this. Mostly beacasue most people ahve already eaten and ready for bed by the time I get home.

The other thing is, I love Broc's cooking. and more than that I know how much he loved cooking for me. And my old hours at work didn't leave much room for him to cook anything that I might enjoy.

Now my hours have changed, I'm working from 8am-4pm. and for the first time since I have started work I can actually be home at the right time.
Now that Broc is cooking again, it's hard because I cant eat it. I have to remain strong and resist.

The other thing that really hurts. Is going out to dinner.

One of the thing I really wanted to do with Broc on a regualr basis ever since I moved here, was to be able to go out to dinner on a regualr basis, enjoy rich new foods and have a night out with the man I love.

My hours wouldnt let me however.

More than that, as time went on, Broc found a friend whom he could go out to dinner with, and I felt the pangs of jelousy more than once when I would get home on a friday night, and Broc would still be out, having gone to dinner with his friend.
Experiences I longed so much to share, and was held back from.

Now I am on the diet. And just when I finally can say "Hey Broc, let me take you out to dinner somewhere" I cant...
Most likely only on rare occasions. and even then I'll have to carefully watch waht I eat.
Suddenly I feel like I have missed out on my chance entirly to do what I had always wanted to do.

And I guess Broc will still end up going out to dinner with his friend. Seeing he cant do so with me again.

I know the diet is good for me. I know in the long run it can help so much.

and yet I feel like I'm suddenly cutting myself off from not only things that I have longed to do with Broc. But from Broc himself.

I'm so torn on what to do, or how to handle this.

Broc of course is being amazingly suportive. and I love him dearly for that. But I dont know weather this diet is going to make me or break me.

Is more than just the food I love. The food is nothing compared to the experiences I feel I am going to loose.


Posted by: Christopher Halyday aka Espilonarge the dingaroo (espilonarge)
Posted at: August 17th, 2007 10:06 am (UTC)

*is having steak for dinner tonight.. a very large piece as well* n.n;;;

Posted by: Iceleron (iceleron)
Posted at: August 17th, 2007 10:42 am (UTC)

Thankyou Espy.. you have just made me feel 10 times worse.

*curls up in a ball*

Posted by: byftpup (byftpup)
Posted at: August 17th, 2007 02:06 pm (UTC)

You know what - I can't help but think that if you DON'T go on this diet... You won't be able to spend time with Broc anyway... you'll be to sore/tired/incapable of going with him to anything... THE BEST thing about a diet for you is that you would be able to feel better about yourself once you've lost some weight. Once your feeling better about yourself you'll start feeling better about everything around you with out being dependant on others opinions... and to top that off.. once you've started feeling better about the things around you you'll be able to spend MORE time with broc and doing the things that you really want to do with him.... (Whistles a little tune there trying to think innocent thoughts..) So there you go... whilst it's still not paying off for you at the moment look at where your long term goals are going to get you... think about when you get off the light and easy diet you'll be able to go to dinner and do things with broc that you haven't even thoguht about yet...!!!!!!



Posted by: Riven Scythe (rivenscythe)
Posted at: August 17th, 2007 04:49 pm (UTC)

It's going to be hard, but just try and stick with it. Keep your eye on the prize: A long, healthy and happy life with your stallion.

Isn't it worth it? Aren't you worth it?

You guys will find a way around this. Just keep being open and honest with each other, trust in each other, and trust in the love that you both share.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Riven Scythe (rivenscythe)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)

Bear didn't like Optifast :( We had to end up getting rid of most of the batch that we bought him :(

Posted by: Temba (liontemba)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 09:13 am (UTC)

I know how hard it is to stick to diets, and plans mate. I know the near future looks dim bear, but in the long run it will be worth it, try and remain positive through this, although i know your probably sick of hearing that... I think once you start seeing results, this will motivate you more. Give it some time, see what happens.

Good luck bear *hugs tight and ruffles ya fur*

Posted by: broc_dresdroth (broc_dresdroth)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 04:50 am (UTC)

im doing my best to help ice, i cant understand most of the moods you are going through. Just being able to see a friend and go to dinner was a big deal for me. Just because i do that with a friend doesnt mean it wont happen with you. am much as you hate me saying this we just need to organise and work it out. dont let your emotions take over the rational in this. *hugs you*

Posted by: Mad Dog (maddogairpirate)
Posted at: July 25th, 2008 05:47 am (UTC)

Added you. Not sure if you're gonna continue to use the journal, though I'd like to see that. =)

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